The Best Trash-Talking Painting Ever: Reply Of The Zaporozhian Cossacks
A picture might be worth a thousand words, but those words very rarely include “[you] canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse” or “the devil s----, and your army eats” or “screw thine own mother.” In fact, there are only two exceptions to that rule: The worst handmade birthday card in existence (for which I’m still sorry, Grandma), and also what was once the most expensive painting in Russia, which also continues to be an enduring symbol of Ukrainian independence.
This is the painting. I’m not showing you the birthday card.
Completed between 1880 and 1891 by Russian painter Ilya Repin, Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks depicts Cossacks (duh) drafting a reply to an ultimatum of surrender issued by the Ottoman sultan Mehmed IV. The alleged 1676 event was essentially the 17th century equivalent of telling a warship you weren’t interested in complying with its demands, only bluer than an entire Smurf village. The painting, selling to Alexander III for 35,000 rubles, an unprecedented amount back then, has since been parodied time and time again, including a tweet by Ukrainian MPs back in 2021 in response to Vladimir Putin’s assertion of the “historical unity of Russians and Ukrainians.”
The writing of the reply most likely never happened. The entire story is based on a supposed copy of the letter found sometime in the 19th century, which is impossible to authenticate. There are apparently also too many inconsistencies about the painting’s legend. But really, that’s not important.
When it comes to symbolism, it’s not always about the truth; it’s about what people need. And in these times, Ukrainians could really use this symbol of defiance and resistance more than ever. Because despite the Russian provenance of Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks, the work itself is imbued with Ukrainian spirit due to the presence of the Cossacks.
Cossacks are Slavic/Turkic Christians who settled the steppes of Eastern Europe and kickstarted the creation of Ukraine. Through the centuries, they, their lands, and its people crafted their own identity through contact, often armed, with powerful empires. But not just Russia.
In fact, the beginnings of Ukraine can be traced back to Cossacks in the 1600s trying to break free from the control of Poland. And they did it so well, they inspired the Polish word “kozak,” meaning “an incredibly, oftentimes excessively, brave person.” The history of Ukraine is longer and much more complicated than that but, suffice to say, any claim about any kind of purely Russian origin of the country is about as historically-accurate as an episode of The Flintstones.
Outside of its symbolism and legend, though, Reply is worth talking about because it’s just a beautiful piece that’s open to interpretation. Like ... are the Cossacks depicted in it foolhardy, and looking for a fight wherever they can? Or are they putting up a good front for each other’s sake in the face of another war coming their way? Everyone will see something different in it, and that’s the mark of a true masterpiece.
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