Eye-Crushers And Battle Pipes: 4 Specialized Tools That Samurai Actually Used
The samurai have existed for well over 700 years, and even if they had been made out of Twinkies and frozen in carbonite, nothing can exist for that long without changing. Throughout history, they lived not only as warriors, but as land administrators, policemen, gamblers, and maybe even social media influencers. But the Hollywood image we have of them as noble badasses with anorexic swords simply isn’t the full picture. And in fact, much of the gear that samurai used to carry around would seem pretty out of place in the movies. For example ...
Eye-Crushers
After the unification of Japan in the early 17th century, the samurai became mostly useless. The country was technically at peace, so with no wars left to fight, many of them joined the police. The lowest-rank samurai ended up as patrolmen, who would come face to face with city-dwelling commoners ... and occasionally do horrible things to those commoners' faces.
The samurai patrolmen didn't carry katanas, as it was preferred for them to bring in criminals alive. But there is a lot of terrifying middle-ground between alive and dead. Enter the metsubushi, which literally translates to “eye-crushers,” “eye-destroyers, “eye-demolishers ...” you get the idea. It was any kind of powder that attacked the peepers. Some metsubushi, which could be carried in a hollowed-out bamboo tube or in a special box, was essentially an early form of mace, containing things like flour, ashes, or ground-up pepper. Other varieties, however, used powdered glass for the explicit purpose of permanently blinding your opponent.
Wikimedia
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We know that samurai in the Edo period (1603 – 1868) used the metsubushi at some point, but we're not clear on exactly how common it was, which actually points to a huge problem with crafting a one-size-fits-all image of the samurai. As technology and the times changed, so did Japan’s warrior class, just as all humans have done since the beginning of time. And while we’re not completely sure on some of the specifics, we can at least say with certainty that at one point in history part of the samurai experience included running around Daredeviling people in the face.
Bondage Clown Rope
Let’s say that a samurai patrolman caught a criminal, and preferably did so without eye-exploders. The next step would likely be to restrain the suspect, but heavy, clanking, metal handcuffs weren't ideal, and supergluing their hands together just wasn’t an option for a number of reasons. So they used rope, and in and of itself, there’s nothing weird about that.
Right, so there are two weird things about that.
The cord was usually bundled in such a way that the samurai cops could pull it out from inside their uniform like a bunch of clown handkerchiefs; the ropes were also often color-coded, signifying if the arrestee was low or high born. Also, the samurai were very concerned about the aesthetics of their binding – they didn’t just swirl rope around the criminal like a cartoon corset. The art of restraining people with rope, called hojojutsu or torinawajutsu, required intricate patterns that immobilized people without any knots, because this way, technically the person wasn’t tied down and therefore they weren't humiliated. Or at least humiliated as far as a traditional sense of honor goes, but let's be honest here, hojojutsu absolutely looks like BDSM rope play.
Medium
So … if you’re looking to try something new in the bedroom …
If you walked into a room where that was happening, I’m betting you're way more likely to wonder why they didn't leave a sock on the doorknob than you are curious as to why that criminal is being subdued. And now that I think about it, I wonder how many hojojutsu’ed criminals learned a lot about themselves while being walked to the police station with clearly visible erections.
Battle Pipes
It took a while for the Western world to catch on that smoking can kill you, but in Japan, they’ve known that for centuries.
They still smoked, of course, and the preferred smoking device in olden Japan was the kiseru, a wooden pipe with metal fittings on both ends, which was used to enjoy shredded tobacco. Size-wise, it could vary, with some being the size of a finger and others a couple of feet in length, and the larger ones were actually used as weapons. You see, for most of Japan’s history, commoners were forbidden from carrying weapons, but no one could stop them from carrying pipes, which in the Edo period became bigger and thicker and were worn around the waist in a manner that probably first summoned Freud to Earth. That's how we got the kenka kiseru, or fight pipes, that the less reputable used to strike, stab, and club their enemies with.
Wikimedia
Followed by a nice, relaxing smoke.
Battle pipes were mostly used against the samurai, but the warrior class definitely appreciated the kiseru’s potential as a makeshift weapon, and there are many stories of samurai grabbing a pipe and using it as a 17th century kubotan. This wasn’t exactly noble or honorable, however, so reliable sources on the practice are scarce, but we know for a fact that kiseru were immensely popular among almost every social class and that the samurai were masters at adapting and surviving. So if anyone came at them and all they had was their trusty pipe, you can bet your ass that they used it to smoke their enemies.
I’m really sorry about that joke.
Head Gear
During battle, one of the main things on a samurai’s mind was improving their situation and getting ahead. Sorry, I meant getting “a head.” But technically I think both are correct.
Capturing the head of an enemy in battle was a huge deal for the samurai. It brought them glory, respect, and in many cases, it allowed them to collect additional prizes from their commanders. That’s why a properly-prepared samurai never left for battle without a kubibukuro, which was a bag with straps for the transportation of taken enemy noggins. The kubibukuro could be attached to the waist or the saddle if the samurai was on a horse, and it was made out of a net so that everyone could see what the warrior was carrying and not accuse him of stealing, I don't know, melons or whatever.
Pixabay
“Hey, cool helmet. Where did you get- OOHHHHHHHH!”
There is also a theory that the kogai, which is a spiked, blunted blade carried by the samurai for hair arrangement, was sometimes also used for head collecting. It would apparently be inserted through the ear of the severed head, and the personally-customized part left sticking out would identify the head’s new owner. None of this was about honor or paying respect to your enemy or any of that nonsense – this was all about gaining status and money, which is what the samurai and really every other person in history was concerned about, because those things actually helped you survive. And hey, if a corpse had to be desecrated to display your brand in the process, then oh well. You can't spend too much time thinking about that because there are still far too many eyes out there that have been left undestroyed, and that powdered glass is just burning a hole in your rad samurai bamboo tube.
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