4 Acts Of Petty Revenge We Can’t Help But Laugh At
Revenge is a tough concept to reconcile -- on the one hand, addressing a wrong with tact and maturity is almost always the best way to handle things. On the other, revenge stories can be hilarious. Childish and petty, yes. But still hilarious. Here are a few of those.
Artist Bans Another From Using A Specific Color As Retaliation For Hoarding A Different Color
You might recognize the name Anish Kapoor -- we talked about him and his cartoon-like hole art that someone fell in already. But there's an interesting story behind the very specific type of black that Kapoor used to create Descent into Limbo.
It's called “Vantablack,” and it's just the blackest. Seriously, it's made from nanotubes and absorbs a whopping 99.96% of all light. That's freaking incredible, and obviously people in the art world have been very interested in getting their hands on it. But they can't, because Kapoor has exclusive rights to it, a stance that has drawn ire from many in the art community.
And in one case, it inspired a very specific (and hilarious) type of revenge.
Pixabay
No, not that kind.
Another artist, Stuart Semple, created “Pink,” and it's just the pinkest. He claims it's the most pink pigment available, at least to his knowledge, and literally everyone can buy it -- everyone except Kapoor, that is. If you are a person capable of purchasing something online, you can get some right now. But you can't buy it for Kapoor, or even give him any, or give any to anyone who might give him some. In fact, you have to agree to these terms when making your purchase. Specifically:
“*Note: By adding this product to your cart you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated to Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this paint will not make its way into the hands of Anish Kapoor.”
Of course, Kapoor eventually did get his hands on some and decided to share that information on Instagram where the comments have not been kind. But whatever; Semple now has the silveriest silver and glitteriest glitter and otheriest others and MIT made something that's blacker than Vantablack now anyway. By a lot.
Musician Writes Successful Song About United Airlines Breaking His Guitar
Listen, we don't work for an airline, so we're not privy to the everyday difficulties that airport employees face. Well, we have been to an airport, so we're familiar with at least one of those difficulties: the people. Regardless, coordinating everything that goes into transporting people across the planet in hollow metal tubes with wings has to be a fairly complicated dance routine with a lot of moving parts and a lot of different people. Missteps are bound to occur.
Unfortunately, United Airlines has done a pretty terrible job with some of theirs.
And that includes the mishandling of their passengers' stuff. Or more specifically, how they handled the mishandling of some stuff. You see, in 2008, musician Dave Carroll was traveling by way of O'Hare International Airport in Chicago where he says his guitar was damaged by United Airlines' baggage handlers. Apparently, his initial attempts to reach out to the airline to address the situation did not meet with his satisfaction. So he ... you know what? He wrote a song that details the entire experience. Here’s his story:
It turns out that people really liked the song, and it became wildly popular (it has close to 20 million views on YouTube at the time of this writing). Other airlines started reaching out to Carroll to offer free “try us out!” plane rides and Taylor Guitars (the brand of the guitar that was broken) said they'd give him two replacement instruments. Oh, and after all of this started happening, United finally offered to fix the guitar and throw in some flight vouchers for good measure, but Carroll wasn't having it at that point.
It's probably also worth mentioning that some people think his song played a not-insignificant part in United's stock experiencing a sharp decline around the same time ... to the tune of $180 million. We're not saying that Carroll's music was directly responsible, but some people are. And the fact that it's even considered as a possibility is pretty damn impressive.
Man Buys Old Boss's Home Just To Tear It Down And Build On Top Of It
We get it -- bosses are the worst. They just bark orders and make you stay late and otherwise treat you like a disposable cog in a giant machine of pure industry where the only concern is the shareholders' happiness. Or hell, maybe you work in a small office and your boss is just the nicest. We don't know.
But we're pretty sure at least some of you have entertained an elaborate, humiliating revenge scenario that would give your former boss (or current one?) the comeuppance they deserve. Occasionally, a real person gets that opportunity, and the results can be fairly incredible.
Pixabay
“I got him with the old ‘HAHA YOU KILLED SOMEONE’ routine.”
Take David Tepper, for instance. You might know him as the billionaire founder of Appaloosa, but obviously he didn't always have that position. He used to work for Goldman Sachs, but was apparently passed over twice for a promotion he felt he deserved, so he quit and went into the hedge fund game. He started Appaloosa, became a billionaire over the course of the next decade, and finally had that sweet, delicious revenge he was so looking forward to.
Well, almost. As it turns out, Tepper was still holding a little bit of a grudge, or at least it seems that way given he bought his old boss's former house from said boss’s ex-wife and tore it down. Then he built a home twice the size in its place. That … seems exactly like the kind of thing a billionaire would do if they were still bitter, anyway.
So now he's finally even. We think? Oh god, there's something else coming, isn't there?
City Forces Home Owner To Lower His Fence, He Throws A Naked Mannequin Party
The concept of a “dream home” is obviously different for everyone. For some, it might look like a grand villa tucked away on a mountainside surrounded by trees with badass spiral staircases and decorated with minimalist, trendy, horrendously uncomfortable furniture and a few little stone cherub fountains that will forever urinate into a giant clam shell. Or maybe it's the cabin in the woods where you can enjoy silence, nature, and the highly-fortified and well-hidden bunker you have buried deep beneath it for when it all goes down. Everybody's different.
In real life, building that dream home, or even just a regular home, involves pesky things like “rules” and “city ordinances” that need to be followed. Which Jason Windus of Santa Rosa, California found out when he built a huge-ass fence around his yard -- something he did because he had some huge-ass dogs. The logic was sound, at least from a keeping-the-dogs-in-the-yard standpoint, but unfortunately the height of it was a problem, as it was partially blocking the view of a nearby intersection. So the city told him he had to lower it.
Which, to be fair, he totally did. But Windus was really kind of annoyed by the whole thing, and particularly, his suspicions that a nearby neighbor had tattled on him. But instead of launching an overly-theatrical, retaliatory attack, he threw a party. A garden party, actually. The good news is that it was pretty well attended. The unfortunate (weird?) news is that most of the attendees were mannequins. Naked ones.
CBS / KPIX 5
NSFW?
He even reserved a special seat for that snitch of a neighbor which was ... something. Look, it's obviously just a childish middle finger from a guy pissed off that he was forced to follow the rules he didn't check before he started building something. A harmless jab from someone who didn’t like being told what to do. Windus himself even said, “I wasn't planning on it being a big publicity stunt.”
See? It's all just a bit of fun. And it's not like he's trying to exploit the situa-
CBS / KPIX 5
Oh goddammit, Windus.
