We love a good story about the genius behind criminal masterminds. These stories are the exact opposite of that.

Aren’t bribes supposed to take place in secret? Shady locations with even shadier people? Well, nobody told these guys that.

Hey, if crime is going to happen, we definitely prefer it to be carried out by people so hopelessly inept that they basically catch themselves.

Cardboard cutouts, pooping geese … sandwiches? All of those and more have triggered emergency responses. And not small ones, either.